11/13/14

More stressful and vivid dreams, more unrequited/complicated love, more crushing financial responsibility leaving me feeling paralyzed. I feel indescribable as of this moment. I want to run as much as I want to somehow instantly fix everything as much as I want to lay down and never get up again. I feel this become mostly a negative feelings purge journal. I suppose I need it. I feel lonely and cared for simultaneously. Everything around me is momentarily discomfiting. It will go away, and it will come back later. I'm slipping into depression again, and I need it to go away fast. I can feel myself struggling to stay away from it as I gauge and try to prioritize carefully my sleep, my diet, my activity level, and my daily planning/organization. It's difficult to be vigilant against something when its the very thing that makes you feel so fuzzy around the edges.