I can't compare

I really can't. There's nothing in my life right now that can count as real physical strife; it's mostly emotional. There are men who pass through my life, never have I been involved in so many people's lives. One loves me from a distance, another loves me close but dare not touch, another I've known forever but it seems I'm outgrowing, and yet I'm willing to forsake all of them for a soul I may never even see again. I feel like I'm being unfair to the ones involved in my life, but I'm already learning the lesson that it's unfair to yourself to be committed to someone purely out of loyalty to a friend, and even more unfair to the other for giving them false dreams of a long, happy relationship.

My recent dreams are lengthy and vivid, and sometimes very violent. I blame the opal, and the recent "activities" I've gotten into. Experimenting with energies and learning to see "auras", learning about runes and other mystical mumbo-jumbo. I'll be a complete nutjob, I'm sure.

Making me angry is a hard task to accomplish. Lately there's been such a calm area around my person that I cannot become irritable, hyper, or angry at anyone or anything. Crying is still a given of course, because I may have found peace and strength, but I'm still blubbery me. :)

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