I have no idea what I want. I can't tell whether I love someone, or whether it's a matter of attraction for the wrong reasons, or its really just a passing fancy and that I really just like thinking about them, or if its all just an illusion based on expectations and a false perception that there is anyone out there aside from a few people that are actually worth my time. My attentions are currently spread in various and entirely useless directions, and I don't have the wherewithal to try to break out and pursue anyone. I guess that's the trouble, I naturally spread my attentions, but I spend my time around someone who is very possessive of the people who pay him attention, and though I want to break out, I have yet to really find someone whose positives outweigh all of his, to be worth it enough to say "I want to end our situation." And that's the trouble as well, I don't actually want to end what we had, but I can't live in that by itself. I have no clue what to expect now that he thinks I've slighted him, but I'm sure it will be unpleasant for at
least a little while.