Typically, before I ever get to putting words on a page, I've said most of what I was going to say a dozen or more times to myself. I was going to write some self-important drivel about inspiration and originality, but I'm going to stuff that for now. I'm in danger, or perhaps crisis of losing my best friend. All because I was not perceptive enough to ask permission, or at least let him know that I was going to make a little side trip, and that it happened to be with some friends of his as well. Now I'm suspect of running around and I'm losing a hell of a lot of privilege, which honestly probably should have happened sooner, but I don't want to lose the respect or understanding that I had with him.

 I have no idea what to do here. I've said I'm sorry, and that it's not what I want, but I don't particularly have a choice if he decides to cut off. I do wish he would figure out what the hell he actually wants, and tell me. It's amazing to see someone who doesn't believe in "love" or "relationships", but shits his logic degree when its clear he's reacting in a very emotional way.

Right now, I don't know what I need either, aside from a sedative.