I just realized that it has been a few days since last I cried. In a way I'm amazed I didn't notice sooner. And yet I'm not totally surprised, because I haven't really felt a shift in mood. I still "feel" about the same. So I don't know if I'm having a shift in attitude(as in, letting go of stuff or becoming more comfortable), or if my body is just sort of cutting down on the emotional stuff for now. To be fair, its very difficult to go through that for long periods of time and be any sort of functional after a while. I just didn't think my body had a cutoff point. Still, I'm glad for the break. This week is going to be a little rough, and I might just want to cry by the end of it. I've never been part of a "professional" opera production, so its both exciting and a little nerve-wracking.

I suppose if I start to feel on the edge of breaking again, I can just find that video that's a string of different individuals' ridiculous laughs(including that guy with the fucking 'hyonk hyonk hyonk' laugh). I seem to fall prey to laughter pretty easily. Although that might just result in a confused laugh-crying state, wherein I'm still upset but I can't stop the physiological reaction to other people's laughter. Which I've experienced, and it actually feels a lot more confusing and creepier to experience than it looks to other folks. D:

No comments:

Post a Comment