I'm getting tired of finding something new to cry over multiple times a day. Or not new, just a constantly renewing source of fear/frustration. Even in other emotionally traumatic events, I don't remember ever crying this much, this regularly. It's exhausting and is seemingly unproductive. I feel fractured, and as though I'm never entirely aware of what's going on around me because I'm too concerned trying to figure out what I should be feeling or doing. It seems that none of my reactions to anything lately have been appropriate. In the end all I can do is tell myself to shut up and try to calm down(which doesn't typically work for long), or else find a place out of view to break down in until I can get a hug or something. Whenever Sam asks me what's wrong, I find it difficult to answer, either because it was spurred on by a variety of legitimate concerns, or specific concerns that I had a highly inappropriate response to and I really don't want to admit it, or even none at all which just makes me feel crazy.

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