I figure after three years or so, it was time for an update. I've been feeling very blase today. Though I've made a small revelation today. I've been evaluating what I deem to be a "failure" of a task in my life. In some things, failure is very self-evident, such as a bad grade, or a late notice on a bill that says "failure to pay". I've finally figured out that it isn't as easy when it comes to singing. That should come as a relief to me, but in a way that makes it more frustrating. I see every day as a learning experience, and singing, especially in a performance, is rife with opportunities to fail. At least, that's how I thought of it before. But I've been bringing myself down that way, and attempting to set myself up for actual failure, which means freezing up on the spot with paralyzing fear. I can't call every missed inflection or word or every out-of-tune note during a lesson a failure. I can't call forgetting breath support for a minute a real failure. Not winning a competition does not make me a failure. These things all make me a voice student. A growing musician. Mistakes at this level are not fatal. I have to remind myself of this, or else I can't carry on. I felt horrible guilt over my juries for something I couldn't really help, and played almost no role in my teachers' decisions. I'm a silly human being. :P

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