Revised Letter

Fuck. Why can't I ever think of what all there is to say the first time?

Dear Ben,

This is difficult to do. I don't like to disturb peace, but it's only surface peace. There's a reason I can't involve myself with you in bed anymore. There's a reason I'm so hesitant about certain things. I've really tried, but I can't find the connection. I thought about trying to wait until later, but then you'd just feel like you were lied to. I can't say this will end well, or maybe I should disappear from the picture for a while, if you still want me as a friend. A few weeks may not feel like enough time for you, but it's been an eternity for me. I can't do it, and it's sapping my willpower to continue to fake this. I'm sorry.


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