I try not to post work from other people on here. It's about my reflections, typically. However, I found in this little writing a reflection of myself. http://8-bitreality.com/archives/2691
Granted, Ive neber tried to take my own life. But I've experienced those moments of despair, of suffering so deep and often unprovoked that it turns you cold. You don't know how to enjoy things. You know there may not even be a good reason, only that you feel horrible and would just rather die than to keep experiencing a numb, foggy existence.
The worst part is when someone asks you what is wrong. Its not that the question itself bugs me, I just often feel mute. I'm not entirely sure what's wrong, nor do I know how to express it. But most people don't want to know or don't know how to publicly deal with the fact that you're in the midst, so you just fake like you're tired. I've never attempted but I've certainly been tempted during bleak times.