This doesn't even apply to a relationship, but its still an idea I've been trying to wrap my head around.


Someday I want to be able to have new connections for myself. I already have new eyes on me. They aren't necessarily the ones I want, but its a reminder that the world is large and that I can forge new paths, even if there's still someone close to my heart. I've even thought that perhaps I'm meant more for a polyromantic path, and perhaps polysexual, but its too early to tell. I just cling too dearly to one fabric in particular right now and until I can love it without dragging it into an abyss, I don't think its a good idea to forge anything new.

There is no *enough*. No one person can ever be enough, because they are only human. I put him on a pedestal so high into space that I likened him to a distant star, of whose virtue I could never even touch, and I think I likened myself to a servant after a while. I would even punish myself if I didn't do something the way he asked it to be done(not physically, just mentally). How sickening, and how horribly appropriate for an ambitious narcissist and an appeasing depressive. 

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