I'm going to complain about period shit for a moment. I don't get to, really, unless I'm around female comrades. Though I've had mine for over 13 years, in some ways I've never entirely gotten used to it. I've found ways to mitigate the pain, to manage the cramps, bloating, intestinal problems, back/pelvis/leg pain, the anemic-like weakness, fatigue, the depressed feelings, and so on. After learning just how disruptive my symptoms are in comparison to many women(like missing school because of symptoms, though that's still rarer now than it was in high school/community college), I'm seriously considering getting hormonal help. I admit I'm a little scared, not only because of my family heart history, but also regarding things like weight gain(which is still manageable) and mood swings/depressive symptoms(less manageable). That and the fact that I am a chronic failure at taking regular medication. I would have to make an extra, conscious effort to make sure everything was working. I also found out I should not get an IUD, not even because it can be displaced, but because it actually causes heavier bleeding. For someone with an already heavy flow for the first four days, that doesn't sound terribly appealing.

I remember taking an evaluation to see what my chances were of having PMDD. I remember being a little confused because the questions kept referring to the time before my period starts. I ignored that but otherwise answered questions about symptoms truthfully, and in fact it said I had a 99% likeliness of having PMDD. But as I was reading more info, I became confused. I had always thought premenstrual symptoms could refer to symptoms that occur before or any time during my period, because I had never heard of a separate condition that addressed the same symptoms during my period. I figured since they were all the same that they were all PMS symptoms, even if the "pre" part was a little counter-intuitive. In fact, there were a lot of details about me that I didn't know were kind of on the edge of "normal". Even though a "normal" length of a period is considered from 2-7 days, the percentage of girls who experience 7-8 days like me are likely fewer than the percentage of  girls who have 3-4 day periods. I used to just say eight days, but by that point its so light that I think its just whatever didn't totally come out on the seventh day. Eight is sort of abnormal. Which, I don't know, maybe I am. But they've always been this long for me, and they've always sort of followed the various phases. I never knew either that different women could have different amounts of lining, even if it were two women of the same size and lifestyle. And I most of all did not know until last year that I experience primary dysmenorrhea(which about 30% of women experience, though its typically experienced more during adolescence) practically every month, and that's the condition the symptoms I have are attributed to.

This is my body. This is what it does. I don't live to complain, but I also should give myself a little room to not feel ashamed or as if I'm just searching for sympathy when its just okay to admit you don't feel up for much, or are feeling particularly crappy. I have to admit, I wrote this in part because I'm cramping rather badly and I want to lie down, even though I'm not actually tired enough to sleep and I know I'd just spend the night tossing and turning and trying to get comfortable while at the same time trying to make sure I don't leak. Which basically means I can't lay on my back unless I have a pad that goes AAAALLLLL the way up my backside. Not so fun. So I decided to vent my frustrations a little. :P

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